homesick

So I'm the biggest sook in the world by saying this

But I am scared shitless of change, It doesn't occur to me whether the change is good or bad, it still terrifies me.

I have the choice of either getting up off my arse and getting my life together, or just keep doing what I'm doing, wasting my days at Leigh's house waiting for him to get home. Living off Centrelink and having to worry about problems with them all the time!

But by getting off my arse I will have to pack up my whole life and move it to an hour away from anywhere (some say it takes half an hour to get to Bundoora from there, but I'm not so sure). And in doing so i will have to get a job that will entail full time work, Monday to Friday, 8 hour shifts. 

When will I have time for anything! I wont hardly get to see my Mum and Brandon, which means I'll never have time for anyone else down there. And I'm not good with early mornings...

But I guess we all have to make sacrifices for the greater cause. If i don't see this through i will never have anywhere to make my folio, I'll keep procrastinating on it like i have been since Christmas, I wont ever end up getting a job (as each day passes by it means a less likely chance of being hired, no one wants someone thats been out of work this long :|), and I'll be stuck, in this enormous rut that I've gotten myself into.

So I guess I really don't have a choice... I think I'm overreacting a little bit (although i can't help it). I need to do this, and its going to take ALL of my will power to get it done.

I cant even bring Selene with me though :(